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Nollywood actress and former BBNaija star Eriata Ese has openly responded to a social media critic who condemned women for having children outside wedlock. The critic had expressed concern over what she described as an increasing trend of women “just giving birth anyhow without being married.”
Taking to her social media platforms, Eriata challenged the narrow-minded judgment, pointing out that people often fail to understand the personal journeys and struggles that shape a woman’s decisions. She stressed that a woman’s choice to marry—or not to marry before having children—cannot be reduced to societal pressure or superficial standards.
“Marriage is undoubtedly a good thing, but some people never pause to consider why an individual may choose a different path,” Eriata wrote. “You don’t know my past. You don’t know if I have trust or anger issues I’m working through. You don’t know if I’m taking my time to understand who I truly want to spend my life with. You don’t know my fears, my worries, or if I am mentally ready to commit. You don’t know if I am preparing myself to be someone’s peace and trophy. Yet all of you feel entitled to type rubbish because commenting is free.”
The actress highlighted the double standards women often face when it comes to marriage and motherhood. She pointed out that women in their 30s are frequently told to have children even if they haven’t found a husband, only to face criticism once they do. Likewise, those who wait until later in life to marry are subjected to judgment about their fertility or life choices.
“You’ll hear them shouting, ‘Once you are 30+ and have no husband, just have your kids.’ When you do, they’ll ask, ‘Where is the father? Oh, no husband? Hmm, single mother.’ Then, if someone waits until 40+ to marry, people will say, ‘Look at you, as beautiful as you are, yet you don’t have a child.’ And when love finally comes along, they’ll question, ‘Why is he with a single mother instead of younger girls?’ And most shockingly, the majority of these critics are women themselves,” she added.
Eriata also engaged in a pointed exchange with a troll, emphasizing that marriage should not be seen as a “flex” or a status symbol. She challenged the critic, questioning what achievements her marriage certificate alone had brought her. This sparked some controversy online, prompting Eriata to clarify her stance in a follow-up post.
In the clarification, she affirmed her respect for marriage and its significance, explaining that she grew up in a loving home and understands the value of family. “I would never dismiss marriage as unimportant in a serious conversation,” she stated. “Marriage is a blessing, and only someone who is emotionally damaged would claim otherwise. My point was never to undermine the institution but to highlight the unnecessary judgment women face about their choices.”
Eriata’s response reflects a growing conversation in Nigeria about personal autonomy, societal expectations, and the pressures women face regarding marriage and motherhood. She used the opportunity to advocate for understanding and empathy, urging people to recognize that life choices are deeply personal and often influenced by complex emotional, psychological, and spiritual factors.
Her candid posts have sparked widespread discussion on social media, with many applauding her courage for addressing the hypocrisy and double standards in societal expectations. Fans and followers expressed support, noting that her message resonates with countless women who navigate similar pressures while trying to balance personal growth, love, and family planning.
In a society where women are often judged for both the timing and the manner of major life decisions, Eriata Ese’s bold defense serves as a reminder that respect and understanding should precede criticism. Her words underscore the importance of empathy and the recognition that every individual’s journey is unique, shaped by circumstances and choices that outsiders may never fully understand.
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