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Chude Jideonwo has explained how taking time to examine his personal life helped him become more deliberate about his choices, from the work he accepts to his views on marriage and having children.
Speaking on the Beyond With Ezinne podcast, the media personality recalled how he began writing extensively about himself in 2015. He used the process to examine his fears, insecurities, relationships and personal desires, asking himself difficult questions about what he wanted from life.
For Jideonwo, understanding himself also meant learning to say no to opportunities that did not align with his interests, regardless of how much money they could bring.
He said he had become clear about his identity and preferences by 2016, explaining that he no longer wanted to spend his time doing things he did not enjoy.
He said:
“For at least since 2016, I’ve been clear who I am. I don’t do anything I don’t enjoy doing. I don’t do any business I don’t enjoy doing. I don’t do any speaking engagement. I don’t like doing panels, for instance, unless it’s Bill Gates that’s inviting me or Joe Biden. I’m not doing it.
“It’s not that, oh, it was a potential million dollars, because I’m like, this person, I’m going to suffer. I’m going to have to navigate.
“From the public, I understood that the public is not my friend. What I didn’t do was I had to do it for the private as well.
“When you’re diagnosed with depression, you have nowhere to go. You are locked in your mind.
“So in 2015, I journaled like a mad person. What do I love? Who do I love? How do I like to be loved? What am I insecure about? You know, I wrote down, what am I afraid of? I wrote down the six things I’m afraid of. And I thought, what is the worst that will happen if these things happen?”.
Beyond examining his fears, Jideonwo said he also thought about what would happen if he died and whether he had made adequate plans for the people and causes that mattered to him.
He recalled writing his will when he was around 30 or 31, with particular attention to his mother and an organisation he supports.
“I wrote my will in 2015 or 2016, when I was 30, 31. Because I’m like, when I talk about what’s the worst that will happen if I d!e? And I thought, okay, I need to take care of my mother. I need to take care of the NGO that I contribute to.
“I love RED from the bottom of my heart, but PR is not what I want to do every day.
“So I wrote down, who do I want to get married to? Do I want to get married? That’s when I realized that I didn’t want to have children. It’s a big thing to realize as a human being. Yeah. To realize as an only child. Of a mother that I love dearly, and who I want to do everything for.”
His decision not to have children was particularly significant because he is an only child and has a close relationship with his mother. He acknowledged that reaching that conclusion was a major personal realisation, especially given how much he loves her.
His account highlights the questions he considered while deciding what he wanted his future to look like, including whether marriage and parenthood were right for him.
Rather than making choices simply because they were expected of him, Jideonwo described taking time to work out what suited his own life.
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