Deacon Famous: ‘No second wife loves her husband genuinely’

Image: IG 

Nollywood actor and comedian Awesome Chidiebere, popularly known as Deacon Famous, has taken a firm position on relationships involving married men, arguing that a woman who knowingly enters such a relationship cannot love the man as sincerely as his first wife does.

“No second wife loves her husband genuinely, no side chick loves her man sincerely. It is not possible!” he said.

For Deacon Famous, the difference comes down to the kind of life two people have built together. He believes a first wife usually meets a man before there is another woman in the picture and, in many cases, goes through his difficult years alongside him.

That experience, he suggested, creates a bond that is difficult for another woman to reproduce.

He argued that once a woman knows that the man she is involved with already has a wife or another partner, the situation changes. Instead of having the man completely to herself, she has to deal with the reality of sharing him.

The actor also believes that material considerations can become part of such relationships. According to him, money, social standing, influence, comfort and other benefits may eventually affect the woman's attachment to the man.

His argument was not limited to second wives. He also included side chicks, maintaining that a woman who knowingly becomes involved with a man who is already committed to someone else cannot have the same level of genuine affection that exists in a relationship where two people built their lives together from the beginning.

He used the experience of an older divorced couple to explain what he meant.

Although the couple had gone their separate ways many years earlier, their children continued to bring them together for family events. By that stage, their children had become adults and the family had even grown to include grandchildren.

Yet whenever they met, the actor said the former couple could still laugh, joke and relate warmly with each other.

For him, that kind of familiarity does not disappear easily because it comes from years of shared experiences. The couple had seen each other at different stages of life and had gone through difficult periods together before their marriage eventually ended.

Deacon Famous believes this history can explain why some men who marry more than one woman still find themselves turning to their first wives when they need emotional support.

He also had a warning for men who are considering polygamy simply because they want another woman.

According to him, the attraction may look appealing at first, but the responsibilities that follow can become overwhelming. More wives can mean more children, more homes to maintain, more financial obligations and more emotional demands.

The actor questioned the wisdom of taking on additional responsibilities when raising even one child is already expensive for many families.

He described some men as being too “indisciplined” when it comes to women, comparing their appetite for multiple partners to a desire to have every type of fruit available.

But, in his view, wanting every option is easier than taking responsibility for the consequences.

His advice was therefore directed at men who are tempted to add another woman to their lives without fully considering what comes with it. Rather than creating another household because of attraction or desire, he encouraged men to think about the long-term financial and emotional burden that could follow.

At the heart of his argument is the belief that love is not only about attraction. For Deacon Famous, years of sacrifice, hardship, family life and shared memories can create a connection that is very different from one formed after a relationship already exists.

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