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| Image:Instagram |
Popular Nigerian dancer Kafayat Shafau, popularly known as Kaffy, has candidly discussed the difficulties she faces when dating as a single mother. Kaffy, who is divorced from her ex-husband Joseph Ameh, shared her experiences during an appearance on the podcast The Honest Bunch.
Reflecting on the realities of dating after divorce, Kaffy revealed that societal attitudes often make relationships challenging for women like her. She recounted a personal experience where a man refused to pursue a relationship with her simply because she has two children.
“I have had someone tell me because I am a single mother he cannot think about dating me because I have two children,” she said.
“What makes you think a woman that has been divorced is not even the better candidate if she has worked on herself? What is the guarantee that two single people today are not going to be divorced people tomorrow? So why are people feeling like ‘No, I need to marry him fresh and I need to marry her fresh?’ Both of you are going into the same data that the world has computed for you that over 70% of marriages crash. You are part of the 70%.”
Kaffy also offered insight into love and emotional responses in relationships. She explained that the intense “butterflies in the stomach” feeling many associate with love can actually be a trauma response rather than genuine affection.
“Real love brings peace, not butterflies. Real love is not supposed to make you anxious,” she said, highlighting the importance of stability and emotional health in relationships.
The dancer emphasized that her personal journey has taught her to value substance over appearances in relationships.
She advised women not to be disheartened by societal expectations or dating challenges, noting that meaningful partnerships are rooted in understanding and shared values rather than superficial criteria.
Kaffy’s reflections shed light on the broader challenges single mothers face in Nigeria, where societal pressures and traditional norms often influence perceptions about dating divorced women.
She encouraged individuals to approach relationships with patience, self-awareness, and a focus on long-term compatibility rather than fleeting attraction.
By sharing her experiences, Kaffy hopes to inspire other women navigating similar paths and to challenge societal stigmas surrounding divorce and single parenthood.
Her candidness on The Honest Bunch serves as both a personal revelation and a conversation starter on the changing dynamics of love, parenting, and societal expectations in contemporary Nigerian society.
Kaffy’s story resonates with many who have faced similar challenges, reinforcing the idea that personal growth and resilience are vital components in finding meaningful and lasting relationships.
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