‘I Got Married At 30 And Divorced At 31, Men Will Frustrate You Till You Leave’— Toke Makinwa

 

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Toke Makinwa has been candid about the reality of marriage, divorce and the way relationships can sometimes come to an end without one person actually saying the words.

Speaking on Toke Moments, the media personality looked back on her own experience, revealing that she got married at 30 and divorced just a year later.

“I got married at 30 and divorced at 31. I don’t even think men have the balls to break up with women these days, they just frustrate you till you leave.”

For Makinwa, ending a relationship is not always about having a direct conversation and deciding together that things are no longer working. She believes some men would rather change their behaviour and create enough distance for their partners to eventually walk away.

She explained that a woman may notice the difference in the way her partner behaves, even if he never openly says that he wants the relationship to end.

According to her, the lack of a straightforward conversation can leave one person trying to understand what has changed while the other person has already emotionally checked out.

“That’s their new tactics, they will frustrate you till you leave. A man will never sit you down and tell you it’s not working out but everything about him tells you it’s not working out,” she said.

Her comments also touch on one of the more uncomfortable parts of relationships: sometimes, the end does not come through one dramatic conversation. Instead, it can show up gradually through changes in communication, affection, attention and the way two people relate to each other.

Makinwa’s own marriage ended shortly after it began, making her comments personal rather than simply an observation about relationships. She has previously spoken publicly about the experience, but this time, her focus was on how people sometimes handle the difficult decision to walk away.

For her, being honest about the state of a relationship is important, particularly when one person already knows that things are no longer working. Rather than leaving the other person to figure it out through changed behaviour, she suggested that saying what is really going on can be a more direct way of handling the situation.

Her comments also raise a familiar question about relationships: when someone no longer wants to continue, is it better to have an uncomfortable conversation or slowly create enough distance for the other person to leave?.

Makinwa's answer appears to favour honesty, even when the conversation may be difficult.

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