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Nigerian dancer and choreographer Kaffy has disclosed a disturbing childhood memory, revealing how her mother once accused her of having an affair with one of her boyfriends when she was just 13 years old.
Speaking on The Honest Bunch podcast, Kaffy recalled being humiliated and flogged after her mother misinterpreted her attempt to help the man, who had cut himself while shaving.
She described the incident as a source of long-lasting trauma that left her battling insecurities and determined to free herself from what she called her mother’s “emotional abuse and blackmail.”
“I was 13 when my mother started suspecting me with her own men. Because of the divorce she had kinds of people. She will have different men she is dating and we will see those men as daddies because we were also missing that father [figure].
“The closer you are to the men, the more she is insecure. And there was a day that I was stripped naked in front of that man in the livingroom and punished for just trying to help ‘daddy’ clean a blood from his face because he was shaving and cut himself. My mother walked into the room when I was saying, ‘Daddy, see.’ And she misinterpreted what was happening and I was flogged naked in front of everyone.
“That had it own traumatising effect on the mind on its own. But then you are thinking, ‘But that’s my mother, would I do that to my mother? Why would my mother even think of that of me, the daughter?’ Are you seeing that transfer of insecurity from mother to child? It’s done subliminally but it’s going to have its own effect,” she said.
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