‘Women Teach Sex’ is a weekly series designed to capture the thoughts of everyday Nigerian women on sexual health, pleasure and what women expect good sex to be and feel like.
Our #WomenTeachSex subject today is a married 27-year-old believes that it is impossible to be married and not engage in period sex. She explains what this translates to in the day-to-day exploration of her sex life
What was your introduction to sex like? I mean, like, when and how did you first become aware of sex?
I knew about sex but very vaguely until I got to SS2. I got introduced to pornography by a friend whose sibling had a crazy stash of pornographic magazines. There were Nigerian ones, foreign ones, all sorts. The foreign had insanely graphic images but the Nigerian ones were more of text but just as crazy. I consumed all of it and I really enjoyed it back then. I even used to beg her to bring a new one for me before I finished one.
Ahahn. Madam the madam
E don tey.
Lmaooo. I feel you. How about the first time you tried sex?
Still in secondary school. It didn’t bang at all. Not as much as I thought it would. I mean, I’d read a lot and built up an expectation of how earth-shattering my orgasms should be. Afterall that’s how women in those HINTS used to have it. Omo, it ended in disappointment.
Why do you think that experience sucked? - if you can recollect
I think I might have had high hopes for someone who was technically still a virgin. So I had started masturbating before I left secondary school. I saw it in one of those books, coupled with my friend telling me about how nice it felt because she had just started doing it then herself. So by the time I tried to have sex with a guy, I’d been on and off masturbating on and off for like four years. So I know how nice an orgasm felt. The mistake was that, I was thinking that if I could enjoy it this much by myself, it’d be even better when I do it with a guy. Of course, that was me setting up myself. The thing didn’t slap at all.
So if you had expected nothing…
Exactly, I wouldn’t have been disappointed. I have learnt now. Most men aren’t so good at giving women that out of the world feeling of satisfaction. It’s just what it is.
Omo see washing. How old were you that first time though?
19
How old are you now?
28
Interesting. Is underwhelming sex what you are still getting these days?
Underwhelming ke? Hell no. That one is in the past now. I can legit say that I am enjoying the best sex of my life. I got married two years ago and it’s as if the sex just keeps getting better. People say the ginger diminishes after a while but I don’t think we’ve gotten there yet. We literally do it every time, it’s insane. Even when I’m on my period. Lol.
Ah. For real?
Yeah, for real. I don’t think it’s possible to be married and not have period sex, especially when you consider that period konji is one of the maddest you can experience. I know two of my friends who engage as well.
Interesting
We talk about most things. And this one was even just a random conversation we had one time like that. And interestingly, we all just seemed to be on the same page. That’s why I feel that period sex comes with the territory [of marriage].
I feel you. My interest is piqued though. Isn’t period sex… messy?
LOL. You know what’s funny? I used to swear that I’d never have period sex until one time I was mad horny with one guy I dated before I met my husband and we did it. It was a little messy but apart from that, it was nice. After that, I never had reason to do it again but by then, I was no longer as staunchly against it as I was once.
Interesting. How do you keep it hygienic? I mean, given the circumstances
You can always prepare for it and minimise the mess. I mean, you know you are on your period and so if anything is about to go down, you can grab a towel - I like to pick from the laundry basket if there’s any in there - and lay it on the bed. This easily solves the whole mess issue.
In what ways is this different from non-period sex?
For me, none. Apart from the fact that you can’t get head, nothing else is different. But then, head can be replaced with fingers, so we move. Also it can only happen on the bed. Lmao.
Wait. You said fingers?
Yep. My husband fingers me on my period. He does not stick his hand in there now. It’s just the clitoris he has business with. That’s all. Besides, I should add that the best time that I have noticed, for me, is the first day of my period and last two days. The mess is usually very very limited. So when I can, I try to hold body for those days.
How about holding it for the whole five days of the cycle?
To what end? I understand that it’s just five days and we should be able to wait but so far so good, we’re enjoying our rhythm and none of us is complaining. I feel that tampering with anything now could disrupt our sex life so I think I’d just leave it like that. This began naturally. if it must end, I think it’d just die a natural death. For now, I like it. We’ll keep doing it when we feel like it. And we are still childless so we’re maximising our uninterrupted years together.
Before the kids come along. Nice.
Exactly. Those ones change everything.
You can say that again. Random; how long should a round of sex last?
10 minutes. 7 is good as well. Anything less than 5 minutes usually feels too short.
What would you teach men about sex if you could gather them all in one place?
Not teach per se, but rant. I see a lot of social media comments from men about Nigerian women being trash. The particularly drag Yoruba women for being bad at sex and I think that’s so rich from people who largely come in less than 5 minutes, can’t even find the clit and suck at foreplay. I really need them to be humble and take several seats.
Wawu. Be calming down.
No. Let me forcefeed them with the truth. They need to hear it.
How would you rate your own sex skills over 10?
8. Once I know how to ride well without my knees embarrassing me, my 10 will be complete. Soon sha.
Lol. Your most embarrassing sex moment?
I once peed in someone’s mouth during head.
What?! Lmao
I swear. In my defense though, I kept telling him to please stop and let me use the restroom, that I can feel pee coming. Baba thought it was squirt and asked me to not worry and let go. In his mind till today, it was squirt.
Oh my Jesus. Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
Does kitchen counter count? Rice was boiling on the other side of the room sha. I hope that’s steamy enough for you
LOL. Please abeg. What’s one act or fantasy you’d love to try but haven’t?
Role playing. I think this December will be when I finally try it.
Hahaha. I see. Good luck with that.
Thank you
What is the most ignorant opinion you’ve heard from a man concerning women’s bodies
The one about saggy breasts coming from promiscuity. See men are dumb and they won’t shut up to at least hide. Annoying people.
What is that sexual thing you think every woman must do at least once?
Get your partner to eat you out with a couple of iced cubes or iced blocks in his mouth. Ah. Omooo
Wow
See. I wish I could say more than that but take it from me, it’s lit as shit.
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