How to achieve real partnership in a relationship

Want equality in your relationship? Here is what to do

That no relationship is perfect is a given. No one goes out of their way seeking perfect partners. Rather, realistic people seek relationships that have the potential to be satisfying, peaceful and fulfilling and progressive with someone who has the right relationship mindset which aligns with theirs.

It does not have to be perfect, it just has to be right and one way to achieve this is by putting in complementary amounts of effort into the relationship. Being able to help each other, and being able to pick up the other person’s slack is major key; if you’re ever going to have a happy relationship. Staying strong for the other, being able to do for them things they can’t do… it is all part of the concept of equality.

Carmen Knudson-Martin, director of the Marriage, Couple and Family Therapy program at Lewis & Clark College tells YourTango that one of the few ways that partners can feel like equals within a relationship is by first being inquisitive.

“You ever meet those people who bombard you with details about their day and never stop to say, ‘how are you?’ Yea, don’t be like that. Make sure you are asking questions and checking in with your significant other just as much as they check in with you.”

This way, you are just as concerned about their well-being as they are about yours. It’s not just seeking to be cared for, it’s caring for them, too, and letting them know about it.

It also means you have to be sensitive and compromising. Carmen suggests that you should also be open to meeting your partner in the middle when it comes to daily disagreements. Maybe it’s their turn to wash the dishes, but you know they had a horrifying day at the office. Simple, kind offerings of support will carry a relationship a long way.

This goes beyond household chores. It extends to emotional labor, compromises, and lifestyle adjustments – otherwise you can end up resenting your partner or unhappy.

It is also part of equality in a relationship to know and note a partner’s love language; Last, Carmen suggests sharing your thoughts. There’s no benefit in harboring how you feel, whether it’s good or bad. You and your partner need to have a constant communication flow so there aren’t any misunderstandings about easily solvable issues.