5 ways to rebuild broken trust in a relationship

5 ways to rebuild broken trust in a relationship

Without trust, a relationship can only go so far before breaking down, oftentimes, beyond repair.

And here’s one more thing about trust: it doesn’t stay in place forever unless it is maintained by constant communication, backed up with actions that partners perform in the best interest of the other person.

If trust gets broken, its effect on the overall wellbeing of the relationship could be quite drastic but it does not have to be final. Broken trust can be fixed, resuscitated.

Here is how to make that happen:

1. Sincere apologies

“The one who was untrustworthy must obviously have sincere remorse,” says Paul Coleman, PsyD, an American psychologist and author.

There isn’t much to do if partners won’t first admit that they were wrong about whatever caused the relationship to break apart in the first instance. Whether outrightly broken or still being held together ever so slightly, a relationship’s chances of getting back to full strength is hinged on this first step, this very important thing.

2. Fitting actions

Apologies are good only when there is a follow-up with actions. Without this sequence, apologies become meaningless and the whole rebuilding thing isn’t more than a joke.

To get back trust again, partners are supposed to demonstrate a pattern of dependable behavior over time. That’s how trust gets solidified again.

3. Forgiveness

All that said and we come to forgiveness and how much of an important role it’s got to play here.

Once you have communicated and gone through the process of really sitting down with your feelings, you can start the process of forgiving each other.

Forgiveness is a choice, but it is a choice that needs to come from an authentic place. You can’t pretend to forgive one another. You need to absolutely come to terms with it.

Make a conscious decision to choose to forgive one another.

4. Getting back slowly

Especially if the betrayal or conflict that disrupted the relationship was a major one, it is important for couples to get committed to rebuilding trust, treating the relationship like a new one that need nurturing from the scratch again.

Both sides must ask for what they really need and not expect their partner to simply know what it is they want. Work toward rebuilding the relationship by doing the work required in building trust and rebuilding a mutually supportive connection. Come to an agreement about what a healthy relationship looks like to you both, considering the special history you’ve had up to that point.

5. Let bygones be

If you both decide to work on this, you have to leave the past in the past and start to work on the goal that you both agreed to. Instead of harping on the past, try to focus your energy on the present and take things one day at a time.