Everything About The Clitoris

Sexuality educator , PhD, once worked with an 80-something-year-old newly widowed woman who had never had an orgasm. She was finally ready to change that, but how? "First, theres no 'work,'" Fleishman told her about finding and experimenting with her clitoris, a body part typically involved in female orgasm. "Lets just think of this as play." Soon enough, she found her clit-for the first time ever-and went on her very merry way.

The Clitoris Plant

Yup, its pretty common to be a tad confused about exactly where and what the clit is-even if youve lived with it for decades. Thats in part because while, as a society, were pretty cool with using the word penis to describe, well, the penis, we tend to call everything down there "the vagina," when what you really mean is the or the clitoris or the actual vagina (a.k.a. the birth canal).

Plus, its kinda hidden if youre just standing in front of the mirror. "It can be very mysterious to people," says , MD, a clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, reproductive sciences at Yale University.

But that certainly doesn't mean you should wait until your 80s-or heck, even your 20s-to become acquainted with your clitoris. In fact, Fleishman suggests getting to know your own body and clitoris before you engage in any kind of sex play with somebody else. "It will really give them a chance to be a better lover to you," she says. Whelp, you heard the expert-time to start "playing" STAT.

What is the clitoris?
The clitoris-pronounced "clit-er-iss" not "clit-OR-iss"-is a small (on the outside), sensitive part of the female genitalia that can become more prominent when youre aroused, thanks to the blood being shuttled to the region. Many, if not most, women need some part of it to be stimulated in order to have an orgasm. "Its analogous to the penis as far as sensation and sexual activity go," Minkin explains.

The clitoris itself is made up of two different visible parts: the clitoral hood, a flap of skin that retracts during arousal, and the glans clitoris, a small, sensitive bulb with some 15,000 (!) nerve endings that the hood protects.

But theres a lot more to the clitoris than meets the eye. In fact, the organ has "legs," that look sort of like a wishbone, that travel along the pelvic bone and are anywhere from 2.25 to 2.5 inches long, Fleishman says. "Theyre also made of spongy tissue that can get erect when aroused," she explains.

Thats good news, since it means its not just the visible parts of your clit that can help you climax. "There are many parts of the clitoris that can provide sexual pleasure for a woman in her body," Fleishman adds.

Where is the clitoris?
If you plop spread-eagle in front of a mirror, youll see your inner and outer lips-technically, the labia minora and majora-surrounding your vaginal opening. Find where those lips meet at the top (closer to your belly button than your rectum) to spot your clitoris. "Where the labia come to the top is where youre going to find the clitoris," Minkin says. Another way to think about its location is as right above your urethra, or the tiny hole through which you pee.

Being able to find your clitoris is important, but what really matters is figuring out where and in what ways to touch it to feel good to you. "Put some lube on your hands, lie on your bed without clothes on, and begin to move your fingers in a clockwise motion," says Fleishman, who also recommends choosing a lube with as few fragrances and chemicals as possible.

You may notice that touching the glans clitoris straight on is too much sensation, but applying a little pressure around, say, 3 o'clock gets you going. "Think about what feels right to you," Fleishman says.

A bathtub or shower is a good place to experiment, too. As you get turned on, you may feel the tissue's firmness changing. "The cells of the tissue will get more blood flow to it, so it will be a little thicker," Fleishman says. "It wont be as stiff as an erection, but it will be a little more pronounced."

Dont be afraid to use a vibrator, either, says Minkin. Using a vibrator "isnt gawdy or dirty," she adds. "Its totally medically acceptable and a good thing."




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